Learn How To Make The Perfect Cup of Coffee
No, I don’t mean “cool” as in “cold”. Sigh. You’re just pretending to misunderstand me, and that ironic tone in your voice is irritating.
No, the Sentient Bean is cool like, you enter and all the art students are at tables, with facial piercings and flannel jackets, sipping coffee out of mugs they brought themselves, and you look down at yourself, in normal jeans and an Old Navy T-shirt, and feel inadequate. That kind of cool.
It’s cool like, the girl in front of you ordered a yerba matte, and then chatted with the barista about an old western movie that the Sentient Bean will be showing later that evening. A movie you’ve never even heard of. When it’s your turn to order, you’re all flustered and thinking that, after all, you shouldn’t be shopping at Old Navy anymore, you’re 33 for Christ’s sake, and you end up ordering a “medium coffee”, and your face gets even more red when you say that. Like it’s embarrassing. Then: “Cold out today, huh?” Good one! You make fabulous small talk!
You sit down with your medium coffee and watch the kid with dreadlocks read Proust. Two cute alternative girls are going through photographs, giggling. A red-headed guy who’s both immensely overweight and more fashionable than you’ve ever been, is sketching something. You fish out your iPhone to check your emails (0 new emails) and then play solitaire, just to be doing something. You impostor. You don’t belong here. Chug down your medium coffee and skedaddle.
The next time you go, you’ll be better. Cooler. More… sentient of your style and demeanor. You’ll show them.
December 13, 2010 at 12:27 pm Comments (7)